The Continuing Misadventures of Trying To Eat Healthily

The reason for the dirth of posts on this blog in January isn’t too difficult to fathom. Yes it’s time to lose some poundage, and so I am reverting back to previously unposted posts (meat, baking, cheese related) drawing on creations created during the summer (you remember summer right?), interspersed with some slightly more bizzarre ‘healthy’ dishes in an effort to maintain some semblance of blogging best practice.

Now the term ‘healthy’ needs to be qualified. ‘Healthy’ doesn’t always mean ‘healthy’. Often it can mean ‘strange’ or ‘should-it-taste-like-that?’; to expand on this last point; ‘because-if-it’s-supposed-to-taste-like-that-then-someone-was-pissed-when-they-made-it’.

You get my point. Maybe not. Maybe it’s just sour grapes on my part. But when we decided to make ‘Warm Walnut Pate’ (we’ve been rummaging through Gwyneth P’s Goop website again) I didn’t expect it to taste so…well, so walnuty.


However every cloud has a silver lining. I got to deploy the silver mean machine again, I mean the Magimix. Never mind walnuts, this bad boy could grind up a walnut tree, roots ’n’ all!

During the post mortem (i.e. after we decided the warm walnut pate was, basically, inedible) it was concluded that I had, yet again, ignored the recipe and stuck in about three times too many walnuts.

Don’t care. Still tasted nasty, nuts or no.

Anyway I will get to the recipe (for those who are either a) freakishly into eating walnuts or b) stupid)

Warm Walnut Pate (from the site of Goop)


  • 3/4 cup raw walnuts (maybe this is where it went wrong – I have big cups in my house)
  • 1 cup cooked lentils – I assumed this was a can
  • 1 large onion, chopped
  • 2 tablespoons wheat-free tamari (in my world this is soy sauce)
  • 2 tablespoons lemon juice
  • 1 bay leaf
  • olive oil
  • salt + pepper to taste
  • smoked pimentón to taste (this is paprika by any other name)

Fry the onions in a bit of oil with the bay leaf on a low heat until soft.


Toast the walnuts in the oven making sure they don’t burn.

Place the lentils, walnuts and onions in the blender with the soy sauce, lemon juice and about 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Blend until smooth and creamy. These are the instructions. I put so many walnuts in it took about 10 mins and still wasn’t that smooth. Or creamy.


Blend until smooth and creamy. These are the instructions. I put so many walnuts in it took about 10 mins and still wasn’t that smooth. Or creamy.


Yum. No really. This is yum.

Splodge into a serving bowl, sprinkle on the paprika. A drizzle more olive oil wouldn’t hurt. Serve with soda bread.


Initially we thought we’d eat this with Lemon & Ginger Tea. Then we tasted the dip and dumped the tea, replacing it with wine…


25 thoughts on “The Continuing Misadventures of Trying To Eat Healthily

  1. Pingback: Why you’d never know about Spinach & Black Bean Burrito if it wasn’t for the Wonderweb | Happiness Stan Lives Here

  2. Summer? Umm, let’s see I think I might remember that – was it when you could walk outside & your face didn’t shatter?
    Don’t take this healthy eating too far, you might end up getting used to it and next thing you know you’ll be out in the woods scraping bark off of trees and digging up roots. There’s all kinds of things that might be considered ‘natural’ but that doesn’t mean you should be putting them in your mouth.
    At least you’ve got the wine to restore your sanity.

  3. I sincerely admire your ability to seamlessly mention wine in every post.This is one of the 3 reasons I follow your blog, the other 2 being:
    1. You’re funny
    2. I like your food (although frankly I will be giving this particular recipe a miss).

  4. I think I might like this – without the pimentón and soy sauce. They sound like icky additions. But I also reckon that Gwyneth has got to the stage where she’s so healthy that regular food would make her mouth explode and rabbit food is more palatable.

  5. It was ma fightback’s birthday yesterday, so I was dragged along to a local spa for “- me time and pampering” I had a sports massage and this morning feel like the inmates of rampton had some fun with me yesterday. Lunch, if you can call it that was half a chicken breast and a bit of carrot. Healthy eating? My arse.

  6. Thanks for the warning. I’ll pass. Why is it so many times say “health food” and it ends up being bland, beany, boring, bizarre, blech?????? I like that recipe you posted with butter, red meat, and taters much better. Oh yeah, the vegetable police came by my blog looking for you. I sent them to a macrobiotic Indian vegan site.

  7. I totally know what you mean. I can practically see the look on your face at first bite. Why do these “healthy” dishes have to be so . . . well, just so? And I’ve sworn off recipes with substitutions and low-fat variations. I’d rather have a sliver of the real thing, than waste ingredients on a “it’ll do” version. But, considering I had chips and dip for dinner two nights in a row, my opinion should probably be taken with a grain of salt. 🙂

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