A Day in the Life: Nerf Guns, Hawkers and Crabcake Sliders

Whilst the children were trying to kill each other with Nerf Guns I thought I’d take the opportunity to write up a recipe for Crabcake Sliders.


As I began writing ‘Whilst’ I noticed a group of shifty looking youths walk past the house. Then I heard a knock on the door. Knowing what was coming next I poked my head out the window, rather than opening the door (I couldn’t ignore it just in case it was the Nerf Warriors trying to get back in).

There stood one of the youths with a plastic card. He wanted to talk to me about my pre-1900 non-cavity walls.

I told him I didn’t want to talk to him about my pre-1900 non-cavity walls.

He asked me why not.

I said because I didn’t want to. He ignored that like I hadn’t said it and looked worried/surprised/annoyed that I didn’t understand the importance of external wall coverings.

So I shut the window. He walked off muttering to himself (something along the lines of ‘miserable old tosser’ perhaps).

I don’t like hawkers. I don’t understand the thinking behind them. Someone, somewhere is thinking right now ‘I know lets go and knock on everyone’s door and try and shift our wallcladding/charity/double-glazed windows/other random worthless crap on people who don’t want it and are sitting quietly in their front rooms trying to find a TV channel to watch which isn’t also trying to shift the very same wallcladding/charity/double-glazed windows/other random worthless crap.

Great idea. Hit us from all sides. Someone’s bound to fold eventually. Anyway, rant over. Back to the crab sliders.

I decided to make these after I found some mini brioche buns in Marks & Spencer, and served them with a tricolor salad.



  • 1 dressed crab
  • 1 tin white crab meat
  • 1 red chilli, chopped
  • 1 egg
  • juice of 1 lime

To serve

  • slider buns, brioche if you can find them/make them
  • mayonnaise
  • sweet chilli sauce

Tricolor salad

  • tomatoes
  • fresh bay leaves
  • mozzarella
  • olive oil
  • balsamic vinegar
  • salt and pepper

First create the cakes. Combine all the ingredients in a bowl. Dont mush it up, you want some lumpy bits of crab in there. Note that lack of breadcrumbs – these are crabby crabcakes.


Form small patties with your hands and place them on a baking tray lined with baking paper.


Pop in the fridge for an hour to chill. If you don’t they will fall apart when you fry them. Meanwhile get the salad ready:


Slice the tomato and cheese and layer with basil leaves. Drizzle with olive oil and balsamic vinegar and season well. Put in the fridge while you get the crabcakes ready.


Heat a tablespoon of oil on a skillet and gently fry the crabcakes on a lowish heat for 10 mins, turning once.


Pop in a warm oven for 10 mins to make sure they are cooked all the way through.


Construct the sliders; place a cake on the bottom half of a roll, then top with mayo and chilli sauce.


Keep them together with a cocktail stick and serve warm with the salad. Perfect summer food!


21 thoughts on “A Day in the Life: Nerf Guns, Hawkers and Crabcake Sliders

  1. Can’t say I’ve ever impulse purchased something from a guy at the door, in fact even if I was considering the product, this is the last place I’d do business. Except for a chap offering to cut my hedge and take the clippings away for £20. Bargain!

    Love the sliders…

  2. We get beggars, bussed in to “do” the whole village, and people trying to sell us all sorts of stuff, but the Jehovas Witnesses are the most regular visitors! They never give up!

  3. I’ve been looking for a good crab cake recipe – thanks!
    Thing with these phone or door to door hawkers is, have you noticed how they can’t even be honest about what they’re bothering you about? They “want to talk to you” – why don’t they just come out & say “we’re trying to sell you our crap because we’re too shaky to have established a proper business”. You got rid of them a lot faster than I did with my “off to clean my rugs”….aka then bringing the closer in to sell you a damn vacuum cleaner….You did well.

  4. I love that you call them hawkers…I’m using that term from now on! We just call them beggers. Do they really go door to door selling insulation?? The last one we had they were trying to sell home security systems. When they knocked at the door my chihuahua/terrier went nuts, I said “That’s my security. Thanks, but no thanks!”
    Back to the crabcake sliders…they look delish!!

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