Horse Burger Jokes

Recently it was revealed the Great British Public has been consuming cheap frozen beefburgers featuring a ‘special ingredient’; horsemeat. This revelation opened up the inner workings of the food industry, including the importing of ‘fillers’ from Eastern Europe which were used to help hold the delicious meaty treats in question together.


Naturally vegetarians the world over have grasped the opportunity to have a good giggle at the misfortune of the unwary carnivorous community, not least both my wife and mother-in-law who conspired to deliver the following witty one-liners to the inbox of Happiness Stan.

  1. A woman has been taken into hospital after eating horse meat burgers from Tesco. Her condition is said to be stable.
  2. So they have found a horse burger in Tesco, what’s next, my Lidl pony?
  3. Not entirely sure how Tesco are going to get over this hurdle.
  4. A waitress in Tesco asked if I wanted anything on my Burger, so I had £5 each way!
  5. Tesco Quarter Pounders: The affordable way to buy your daughter the pony that she’s always wanted!
  6. Had some burgers from Tesco for my tea last night….I still have a bit between my teeth.
  7. Unused HMV vouchers are now being accepted at Tesco, just tell them HMV means ‘Horse Meat Voucher’
  8. Tesco are now testing all their vegetarian burgers for traces of uniquorn!
  9. Anyone want a burger from Tesco? Yay or neigh?
  10. “I’ve just checked the Tesco burgers in my freezer…AND THEY’RE OFF”
  11. I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse…..  I guess Tesco just listened.
  12. Tesco now forced to deny presence of zebra in burgers, as shoppers confuse barcodes for serving suggestions.
  13. A cow walks into a bar. Barman says ‘why the long face?’   Cow says ‘Illegal ingredients, coming over here stealing our jobs!’
  14. I hear the smaller version of those Tesco burgers make great horses d’oeuvres.
  15. These Tesco burger jokes are going on a bit. Talk about flogging a dead.. NO! NO NO NO!
  16. Said to the Mrs these Tesco burgers are giving me the trots
  17. To beef or not to beef, that is the equestrian
  18. Is it a coincidence that HAMBURGERS is an anagram of …SHERGARS BUM.
  19. Tesco’s have released a new liqueur to complement their range of burgers, they’re calling it ‘Red Rum’.

I just copy and paste this stuff.

49 thoughts on “Horse Burger Jokes

  1. Excellent idea to come with some jokes, the Italians are big fan of horse meat, probably that’s why the Roman empire collapsed, who knows??

  2. thanks for stopping by my blog and i love this horsey one. truth is always stranger than fiction isn’t it? i remember the fast food scandal from a couple years back when it was discovered that the delicious fries got their amazing flavor from injections of beef juice. they were sued by hindus and vegs all over the world – looking forward to reading more of your stuff, best, beth

  3. I would have no problem eating horse meat. But I would have to be told that I was eating horse meat !!
    I can understand finding “trace” amounts of horse meat if the grinders were not cleaned properly, but 20 some percent?????
    Some of those jokes are great !!!

  4. Those are pretty good jokes, you must admit.
    Okay, horse meat…at least you found out what you were eating, as long as it’s not ass I suppose it not that bad.
    Now over here, California was the 1st state to try to require food companies to label any genetically modified products (I believe you’ve been doing that over there for years). Unfortunately they lost the petition, possibly due to multi millions$$$ being pumped into ads by the food companies to not require them to do the labeling. They claim that if they label food as genetically modified, that people might not buy it. Well, yeah…if I found out that my corn was modified with the DNA from toad brain, i’d like to know if I’m going to break out into warts after eating corn. Depending on the source, my understanding is that up to 70% of our food supply is genetically modified in some way (mainly because of corn product being in much of the processed food). I guess I kind of like to know what I’m eating & then I’ll be the one to decide.

    • After this episode (and the one in the 1990s when we found out the beef we were eating was contaminated with BSE – brain disease or something) I wouldnt be surprised if our tomatoes or something grew appendages and started attacking us

  5. I don’t think I’d heard about the ‘scandal’ but I have to say, those are good jokes. At least you guys got them to label food as being genetically modified (they do require that on labels – true?). Unfortunately over here, California just lost a proposition to require that on food labels but lost. Of course those who wanted it labeled were up against some pretty big lobby money by many $$millions$$ in ads. You see our food companies here are against it because they claim that people “might not buy food that says that it’s genetically modified”. Um, yeah… I might think twice if I knew my corn had been modified with the DNA of toad brain. I keep checking to see if I start getting warts after eating corn.
    So at least you’re possibly eating horse – which I assume really is a horse & not just an ass – while we just have no idea what we’re eating.

  6. I like 12 the best!
    I can’t say I was really surprised about the whole story though. But to be honest I would rather eat horse meat than mechanically reclaimed meat.
    I am just glad I buy my meat from a proper butcher, because now I get to feel all smug! 🙂

  7. Got a few more for you.
    Remember the horse ‘Beef or Salmon?’
    it was definitely beef.

    We finally know the answer to the question, “Howaya horse?”
    It’s medium-rare.

    And what’s the difference between rich people and poor people?
    Rich people ride horses and eat tarts.

  8. LOL, what else!!! just continue to post lovely recipes where you can actually see all the various ingredients that go into your meal, and we should all be fine!

  9. 17 is awesome!! 13 and 16 are good too. I had a horse steak in Milan years ago. The actual horse tasted fine, but the preparation wasn’t very good. If eat it again, but only if it was clearly labeled so. Not sure why that matters to me but it does.

  10. The French are big fans of horsemeat, it’s full of iron and low in fat. I shudder every time I see the horsemeat butcher slicing the stuff up at the local market. I’d be more worried about the rubbish that goes into other things like “chicken” nuggets…

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